Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Obsessive Compulsive "Refresh" Disorder

Today, I got a little taste of what OCD feels like.

I knew that on November 16th, news was supposed to be announced on the DMA's Arts & Letters Live site.  In particular, the 2011 Texas Bound calendar of events, a series that brings Texas-connected authors and actors together for an evening of audible storytelling. So as soon as I hopped out of bed this morning, I haunted the Arts & Letters Live website, which said this morning, bright and early, to come visit again on November 16th to see the line-up for the next season.  It WAS November 16th, people!  How long was I to wait?  Refresh. 6:18 AM, 6:19, 6:22… Refresh.  Refresh.  Nothing. I was giddy, you see.  Giddy because I got an email last week from someone with Texas Bound who announced that my little old story had been selected for next April's reading, and would be read by a wonderful actress.

Don't get your hopes up, she wrote, and it's a very big long shot, but we've asked [insert actress whose name rhymes with Zenée Spellweger; I’m trying not to jinx myself, here], who's expressed interest in reading for us.  Zenée Spellweger? I love Zenée Spellweger!  I did a little dance in my office and tried not to tell too many of my friends that these people were actually asking Zenée Spellweger to read my story.

Whether this amazing actress-who-shall-not-be-rightfully-named has time in her filming schedule or not—whether she accepts the offer to read or gracefully declines this year—I’m delighted to be part of the series this year.  I’ll be delighted with whomever the organizers eventually select to read the story.  Refresh.  Refresh, I kept clicking at 5:08, 5:10, 5:12, etc., with my second glass of Malbec.

I’ve been writing half-heartedly on my current manuscript this evening.  It was like pulling teeth. Refresh. Refresh.  Somehow I kept finding myself on that darn website, my manuscript buried beneath the Firefox browser.  It was exhausting, this OCD.

Tonight, right before I decided to crawl into bed, feeling a wee feverish and achy, I decided to Refresh the Arts & Letters Live website once more, and LOOK: the line-up is finally up!  And there’s still a mystery spot (TBA) on the actress who will read my story.  The jury is still out.  And I am tuckered out.  So please, everyone… before you tuck in, will you say a little prayer for Zenée Spellweger?